Choose love in every moment. When we step out of our constantly busy, analysing, fear driven minds and drop into our hearts, life flows with more fun and ease and we get to experience life with greater fulfillment, love and happiness. Our cup becomes suitably full!
Choosing love in every moment is about nurturing an ever flowing, eternal wellspring of unconditional patience, compassion, forgiveness and gentle kindness. When we drop into this awareness we realise that at the very core of our nature we are the same; each a single, precious vulnerable human being yearning to be loved, accepted and feeling like we belong. To essentially – ‘be enough with who we are’.
The journey from the head to the heart
The journey from the head to the heart is not an easy one, but it will lead you to a place that you will want to call home for the rest of your life. A home that is perfectly imperfect.
During my years in private practise as a holistic occupational therapist, more and more of my clients were coming to me wanting to take this journey, the courageous bold journey that pulls them out of their constantly busy, questioning, doubting, self-analysing, fearful minds and into the flowing, loving, comfort of the heart.
I have noticed over the years on an individual and collective level there is a potent human longing to heal a loneliness, an emptiness, a separateness, an imprisoned disconnection with self and others. Carl Jung describes this as our collective unconscious. Our current planetary climate appears to be charged by a collective human longing to shed this sense of disconnection that keeps us feeling separate and lonely. There is a collective shift sweeping through our human psyche to move towards a deeper connection so that we may experience a wholeness and a stronger feeling of belonging. Just take a look at the state of our social media platforms, the internet and the plethora of online dating sites – millions of humans just trying to make a connection, and feel like they are loved, accepted and that they belong.
Love, perfection and wholeness is an internal job
When we can let go of the mind’s idea that fulfillment, love and wholeness is something we attain from outside of us and realise it is eagerly waiting to be unearthed from within: this is the path to true happiness.
For so long I searched for love, wholeness and acceptance from sources external to me, constantly hoping and wishing that my experiences, my projects, my work, my health regimes and the people I loved and cared about so deeply would give me all that I needed and yearned for. That my bucket would be adequately filled by projects and external stuff outside of myself and that I would eventually become whole and fulfilled by drawing on these sources (sometimes with great urgency and desperation). Oh my! I was way off-the-mark with this one, and like so many lessons in my life, being a slow learner I had to learn this one the hard way.
It wasn’t until I reached rock bottom and a point of desperation in my life that I realised I was barking up the wrong tree, and the tree I was barking up, had fear, disappointment and heartache written all over it. I was on a one-way street to constant non-fulfillment, and the seams of my ‘externally-focused’ life had started to fray at the edges, big time. I was ready to burst, and eventually I did. I had to learn my biggest, juiciest, hardest lesson in all my life – to learn how to truly “let go”. And after the extremely painful letting go process I had to put myself back together in a way that was wholesome, resilient and sustainable, and learn how to compassionately and lovingly heal the frayed edges of my life, so that I could live in a more healthy and self-fulfilled way.
The constant desire for more
In a culture of instant gratification and self-advancement, people often find themselves constantly searching for more, but never truly feeling satisfied. More wealth, more health, more things, more fun, more thrills, more pleasure, more sex, more fulfillment, more perfection, and more “love” – and it’s often the Hollywood fairy tale type of love that the trashy reality shows splash over our television screens every week, or the Hollywood blockbuster movies that try to portray love as the ‘perfect honeymoon romantic love’. But this is not REAL. It is a love that has been constructed by the mind and is not of the heart. People have forgotten the real, pure, unconditional love that flows freely from the heart. And this is why our society is in such a pickle. People are perpetually unsatisfied, unhappy and constantly yearning for something that does not even exist. They run away, escape, jump from partner to partner, hoping to find what they’ve been looking for, only to discover it does not exist ‘somewhere else’ or outside of themselves.
Unfortunately, we are living in a consumer driven society that encourages us to think we are ‘not enough’, and literally convinces us through various media modes that we are essentially ‘broken needing fixing’, and I’ll charge you hundreds to thousands of dollars to fix your faulty life, body, mind, etc, thank you very much!!! And this social conditioning is all in an attempt to make money out of your feelings of inadequacy and ‘not enough-ness’. It fucking sucks!
From a very young age we are taught to search outside ourselves to make us feel happy and fulfilled through material possessions, money, religion, gurus, partners, and even our kids. People are gripping, clinging, grasping and hanging on for dear life all the things they think are going to bring greater joy and happiness, chasing down and searching for that elusive Holy Grail in an attempt to attain more of the things they want and think they need to make them feel adequate, successful, or ‘enough’.
And when we achieve the desired outcome, get to where our mind wants us to go, change our body shape, get that facelift, numb our body and mind with drugs or alcohol, eventually obtain the ‘thing’ that we have been longing for, it’s never quite enough. Our mind is already dissatisfied, searching for the next thing, the next hit, the next joy ride to try and fulfill the empty void within . It becomes a never ending stream of addictive unmet longing and a sure fire path to constant frustration and non-fulfillment.
But, what if all this longing is just a call from within, a call to find a wholeness from within and return to our one true home – our soul’s core. What if we could step out of our constantly striving minds for a moment and magnify this longing with the truth of the heart?
What if our human mind’s longing for external things, external thrills, external pleasures, external security, is just a call for more care, more compassion, more heartfelt kindness to give to ourselves and others.
What if this void that people are trying to fill through money, food, sex, drugs, alcohol, addictions is just a call for more love?
What if the answer to all this unmet consumerism and longing is simple? What if the answer is LOVE. True Love – for ourselves and others?
Fortunately for me, I was blessed with an opportunity to crack this code, to crack the shell that encapsulates the mind’s limited perceptions and beams a burning torch light into the depths of the heart’s intelligence.
Stuck, unfulfilled and exhausted…I was ready to chuck in the towel
After two solid years dedicated to healing my mind and body, I had come along way. I had recovered from a myriad of unpleasant symptoms that had plagued me for most of my young adult life, and I was feeling the healthiest I had felt in a very long time. I was thoroughly enjoying this blissful re-connection to my inner vitality and wellness but somewhere into my health quest, things started to unravel. I started to become stuck, stagnant, and a deep unfounded yearning of feeling ‘not-whole’ crept its way into the cracks of my self-awareness. There was a void I hadn’t quite learnt how to fill. Having healed from a whole host of unpleasant symptoms and illnesses, I had reached a beautiful time in my life and there was a lot of things going right for me. But I just couldn’t ignore something eating away at my internal life, that was taking away the shine. It was an uneasy feeling. A feeling that something was missing.
Something in my internal world, buried in the deep subconscious levels of my mind was trying to make itself known to me. There was some burning inner voice within me that was trying to tell me, ‘something is not quite right’.
It was so deeply buried in my subconscious that it was muffled, secretly encoded, unable to be cracked by my mind’s limited perception. I was frustrated, and I was confused.
Every time this feeling popped up into my awareness, I felt like I was failing. I felt like I was losing my health battle, slipping down the slippery slope of sickness again, losing my mojo, losing my spark.
I was spiraling downwards. I tried to convince myself that perhaps this was normal, part of every person’s journey, a bump in the road, a blip in the system that would go away if I ignored it long enough. I started to tighten the reins on my health regime and gripped even tighter to my health and fitness formula. But nothing was working. The harder I tried, the more exhausted I felt and I just couldn’t shake. The void inside kept gnawing away at me.
Disappointed and frustrated, I started to lose faith. I felt like my dreams and visions of making a difference in the world were coming to an end. I felt like true health and happiness was just a fantasy I had conjured up in my own head. I was ready to give up on it all and throw in the towel. The old favourite fear driven questions came to haunt me once again, ’ What am I doing wrong? Why am I not enough?
And it was these questions that opened the door to my own heart’s wisdom. To let go and choose love. Love for self, love for my family, love for my husband, love for others. Love for life itself.
Even though it felt like things were coming to an end, it was only just beginning.
It is always just the beginning!
I realised that to enter the gates of freedom and serenity, and to enjoy true happiness in my work life, my professional life, my personal life and my family life I had to step out of the clinging, grasping, fear filled mind, and surrender into my heart. To choose love. To dive in head first exposing all my vulnerability and rawness to reveal the beauty and love that resides there.
I realised that to live with greater freedom, wisdom and love, I had to ‘let go’. And it was through this letting go process that I awakened my heart to the True Beauty of my life.
When we let go…we make room for greater wisdom, gratitude and love to enter our field of knowing
The letting go process made room for a new awareness to enter my being. Suddenly, everything starts to make more sense when we learn to let go and let flow. And through this process of awareness and growth, I am learning that there is always something really beautiful in the mess. In the beautiful words of Leonard Cohen – “there is a crack, a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in”.
Something I did want to share with you before I sign off is my simple and life-changing gem of wisdom that cracks the code of emptiness, loneliness and frustration, and frees us from that deep sense of non-fulfilment and exhaustion that so many of us struggle with.
And it is this,
‘Stop trying to control life, and let LIFE live through you. Drop into your open heart, surrender into the love and beauty that resides here and allow THIS to be the light that shows you the way forward’.
My wish is that you too realise the preciousness of life, the preciousness of who you are and open your heart to the beauty of your life.
When we start to give love, be love and practise self love from an unconditional place of vulnerability and tenderness, life opens up beyond our wildest dreams.
When we surrender into the perfection of life we no longer have to live in fear of the unknown, we no longer have to search for wholeness, or try to fill an empty void or cling to the ever changing flow of life. Instead of obsessing about the ‘whys’ and ‘hows’ of what’s next, we can embrace life with an open curiosity, genuinely excited of the beautiful life that’s ahead of us.
With so much love